You Want to Do What?

“You learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.”—Franklin P. Jones, American businessman

You can’t believe it. Your child wants to do something…unspeakable. (Or your child has already done the unthinkable.) Throughout childhood, your child will get into things that make you gasp, and the way you react will set the stage for what your child will do next. Before you pull out your hair (or consider more drastic measures), consider these ideas.

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For all parents

• Growing up involves taking risks, and your child will sometimes take risks that make you bristle or get your child into trouble. Risk taking is partly about your child trying to figure out what’s acceptable and what’s not, and partly about your child figuring out who he is.
  
  
• Analyze how often you’re going into shock. If it’s more than a few times a year, either your child is getting into trouble too often or you’re overreacting. That’s why it’s important to have other adults in your life who can give you support and perspective.
  


• Keep talking with the parents of your child’s friends. Sometimes your child may be doing something that a lot of other kids are getting into. As a group, you can work together to reign in the behavior or give each other the support to be patient.
  
  
• Know the difference between what’s truly dangerous and what’s just pushing your buttons. For example, it’s upsetting when your child colors the walls with permanent markers, but young children often don’t know that this is wrong (until they do it and get scolded). If possible, direct the behavior in a different direction and explain why a different choice would be better next time.
  


• If your child is insistent about doing something you’re not entirely happy about, break the request into pieces. For example, if your 12-year-old wants to go to a concert with friends, work through which parent or adult will drive and which adult will also go to the concert. If your 17-year-old wants to go camping with friends, talk about adult supervision, your teen’s knowledge of camping and cooking out, and how she will get there.
  

For parents with children ages birth to 5

• Young children learn by exploring, which means they can find all kinds of wonderful things—and things that make your skin crawl. Encourage your child’s exploration of his environment, but also do whatever you can to keep him safe during his explorations so that he’s not sticking keys into electrical outlets or grabbing a handle of a cooking pot on the stove.
  
  
• Recognize that kids will get into things, no matter how well you childproof your home. Kids may still find the flour (and dump it on the floor) or find a box of bandages (and cover themselves with all of them). Some kids have even colored their arms and legs with markers. Be clear about what’s acceptable behavior and why, but don’t be overly shocked if your child does something upsetting once in a while.
  
  
• Always love and reassure your child after she has gotten into some type of trouble. Separate the bad behavior from your child. Say things like, “It’s not acceptable to lie.” Avoid statements like “Sometimes you’re such a bad child.”
  

For parents with children ages 6 - 9

• As children start school, they can find themselves getting caught up with other kids. A group of kids may pick on another kid, or a group may have a water fight in the school bathroom. When these types of situations happen, be clear about what would be a better choice next time and also how easy it is to get caught up in the antics of a group.
  
  
• Children at this age may express their individuality in small ways, such as having a hair cut that includes a tail down the back of their heads or wanting to wear only orange. Some of these preferences may drive you crazy, but as long as they’re not hurting anyone, allow your kids to experiment and at least try to understand what’s motivating them to express themselves in this way.
  


• Be clear about what’s appropriate and what’s not. Some kids seem to have a knack for finding trouble. What’s most troubling is when they repeat bad behavior over and over rather than getting into trouble once and then learning from it.
  

For parents with children ages 10 - 15

• Hair color. Hairstyles. Clothes. Accessories. These are ways kids can freak out their parents at this age. Maybe one kid wants his head shaved and another kid wants green hair. Work to negotiate with your child about these issues. Don’t squelch your child’s interests, but honestly talk through the issues. For example, some kids have sensitive skin and can have an allergic reaction to hair dyes. Also, hair dyes typically only last about six weeks before the hair starts growing out. Help your kids make informed decisions.
  
  
• Expect bumps along the way, particularly if your child tends to be a risk taker. Some kids are more likely to learn by trial and error, so proceed cautiously through their errors. If your teenager gets into serious jams, be there. Consider reading Helping Teens Handle Tough Experiences.
  


• Focus on your relationship. Even if your kids are doing things that make you squeamish, continue to keep communication lines open.
  

For parents with children ages 16 - 18

• Listen to the wishes and dreams of your older teenager, even if those dreams scare you. For example, maybe your teenager wants to be a foreign exchange student, and you think it’s frightening for your teenager to travel overseas. Be open about your concerns, but don’t extinguish their passions, or “sparks.” To learn more about sparks, visit www.ignitesparks.com.
  
  
• Be clear about consequences so that when your teenager gets into trouble, he is the one who feels the consequences—not you. For example, if he gets a parking ticket, he should pay the fine.
  


• Continue to be there for your teenager. Make your home a comfortable, safe place to be, a place where she can always turn. Be supportive of her and be clear that you’re always there for her.
  

When Parenting Gets Expensive

“The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.”—Flip Wilson, comedian

Each year, the U.S. government publishes how much it costs to raise a child from birth to age 17. The amount goes up every year. Researchers, however, have discovered that the amount your child costs depends on whether you’re in a single-parent or two-parent family and how much income you bring in each year. The research is clear: The more money you make, the more money you spend. The research also shows that all parents (no matter their circumstances) spend a lot of money on their kids to feed them, clothe them, house them, transport them, educate them, care for them, and keep them healthy. Here’s how to deal with the expense of parenting.

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For all parents

• Most parents feel the financial strain of parenting. Learn more about how other parents in your income group compare to you by downloading a free government report on the cost of raising a child.
  
  
• Consider getting involved with your school’s PTA (Parent Teacher Association), PTO (Parent Teacher Organization), or PTSO (Parent Teacher Student Organization) and learn more about budgets and fundraising. One group of parents, for example, got involved in a PTA and advocated for one school fundraiser a year that was accessible to all students (such as a read-a-thon or a walk-a-thon). They then got the word out and raised enough money to help fund items that some families were having a hard time affording, such as field trips or yearbooks.
  
  
• Talk with other parents if you’re concerned about the rising prices of parenting. See if you can work together to create ways to ease the strain, such as three or four neighbors pitching in to buy one lawn mower to share or finding a few parents who love shopping for bargains who can pick up school supplies during back-to-school sales.
  
  
• Talk with your kids about costs. Include them in conversations about the family budget or specific budgets, such as budgets for their clothes, school supplies, birthday parties, and so on. Most kids don’t realize how quickly certain staples (such as food, clothing, and shelter) can add up.
  
  
• Ask other parents for money-saving strategies that they use.
  
  
• Check out saving strategies for parents of young children published by Babytalk magazine.
  

For parents with children ages birth to 5

• Parents of young children often assume that once their kids are no longer eating baby food and are potty trained, their expenses will go down. U.S. government researchers have found that expenses are usually lower when kids are younger and that expenses grow as kids grow.
  
  
• With kids growing so rapidly, it’s not necessary that they have all new clothes. Visit second-hand shops or garage sales. Check with other parents who have slightly older children and see if you can borrow clothes once their children outgrow them. Some parents of young children pledge to pass along outgrown clothes to parents with younger children for free as long as they pledge to do the same.
  
  
• A significant amount of money for young children goes toward child care or preschool. Although these costs go up each year, it’s always more expensive to care for a younger child (such as an infant) compared to an older child (a 5 year old). Some parents have opted for family care with their young children to cut costs while others have pulled a parent out of the workforce to provide care for their young children. Do what fits your family best, not only financially but also philosophically.
  

For parents with children ages 6 - 9

• Parents are often shocked at the cost of school supplies and school lunches once their child starts attending elementary school. If you find that you can’t keep up with these expenses, find out if there are scholarships, subsidies, or other resources available.
  
  
• Don’t underestimate the cost of activities. Many have a published cost to participate, but there are often additional hidden costs, such as uniforms, providing refreshments, and other fees. Always ask before you sign your child up for an activity.
  
  
• Give your child a weekly allowance. Teach your child to save money to buy things she wants. That way, your child can learn that money doesn’t come in as easily as she might think it does.
  

For parents with children ages 10 - 15

• You’ll find yourself buying clothes like crazy again when your young teenager starts going through puberty. It will feel like those early childhood days, except the clothes will be larger and much more expensive. If your child insists on wearing designer labels, give him a monthly clothing budget so that he finds out what it costs to buy the clothes he wants.
  
  
• This is the age that many kids get braces, and the sticker price can be steep. Find out if there’s a payment plan so you don’t have to cough up the entire bill at once.
  


• If your child joins a band or orchestra, you may be pressured to purchase an instrument. You can usually find places that will allow you to rent your instrument of choice, but if you wish to purchase one, ask how long your child can use it before outgrowing it. There may be more advanced instruments that your child’s teacher will ask you to buy a few years down the road.
  
  
• Many kids at this age are very conscious about fitting in, and they will ask you to buy something because “everyone” has one and they have to have one too. Decide which items you are willing to buy, and consider having your child work toward certain purchases.
  

For parents with children ages 16 - 18

• As your teenagers get their driver’s licenses, your car insurance rates will jump dramatically. Ask your insurance company if there is a discount for teen drivers who get good grades. Your teenagers may also want to buy a car without realizing that there are many other costs, such as gas, car maintenance, insurance, and repairs. Teach your teenager about the true costs of owning a car before letting her jump into this idea.
  
  
• Most parents are shocked at the high cost of the senior year of high school. There are senior pictures, costs associated with graduation, college application fees, test fees, hosting a graduation party, purchasing graduation announcements, and more. Experts say this is only the beginning of trying to juggle the costs of helping your teenager launch into becoming an independent adult.
  
  
• With many school districts facing budget cuts, parents are finding bills that they never expected, such as lab fees for science, fees for purchasing books for class, the need for high-cost graphing calculators, and higher costs for teens to participate in sports, music, and the arts. As a family, talk about what your spending priorities are. Discuss which budget items you can cut back on in order to fund the other ones.
  

Helping Your Child Make Sense of Advertising

“Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something they don’t need.”—Will Rogers, American humorist

Advertising is everywhere: on TV, on pop-up ads through the Internet, in magazines and newspapers, on billboards, in your mailbox—everywhere where someone hands you a flyer or sticks one around the handle of your front door. How do you help your child make sense of all these messages? Consider these ideas.

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For all parents

• Be aware that advertising is a powerful force. If you don’t help your child make sense of advertising, your child may be influenced in ways that you don’t value. As a parent, be a guide to help your child become aware of advertising and how it affects him.
  
  
• Talk about advertising and how you interpret it. When do you pay attention to it? When do you ignore it? Overall, are you happy that there are so many advertisements? Why or why not? Start discussions with your kids to learn what they think about advertising, and talk about your thoughts on the issue.
  
  
• Know how advertisers are influencing your kids. Half of all advertising for children and teens is for food—and 34 percent of all advertising targeted to young people is for candy and snacks. According to the Kaiser Family Foundation Food for Thought report, “Food marketing is a predominant part of the television advertising landscape for children and . . . exposure to such messages is substantial while their exposure to countervailing health messages on TV is minimal.” Of the 8,854 food ads reviewed by researchers of this report, none were for fruits or vegetables.
  
  
• Be clear about how you spend your money and why. Advertising influences our shopping choices, and advertising may lead to overspending if you’re not careful about your budget.
  

For parents with children ages birth to 5

• Keep young children away from advertising as much as possible. The American Psychological Association recommends that advertising targeted to children under the age of 8 should be restricted.
  
  
• Instead of letting young children watch TV, have them watch age-appropriate, pre-recorded movies and TV shows that you can rent for free from your local library or for a small fee from your local video rental store. If you record TV shows, skip through the commercials when your child watches the show. If you are watching a TV show live with your child, mute the channel during commercials and do jumping jacks together.
  
  
• Make shopping lists before you go shopping. Talk about what you’re going to buy and why. If your child sees something in the store that he or she saw advertised, say, “That’s not on our list. We can think about it for another shopping trip, but we aren’t buying that today.” If your child continues bringing up the topic of that item, talk through why you think it’s worth buying—or not.
  

For parents with children ages 6 - 9

• Occasionally watch TV (or sit with your child when he or she is online) and ask questions about the ads. Ask questions such as: What is the message of this ad? How does it make you feel? What is the advertiser not telling us? Point out how advertising often makes people feel that something is missing from their lives, like fun, relaxation, being loved, and so on.
  


• Say something when you see an offensive ad. Some ads are sexist or stereotypical. Some make outrageous claims (and then try to bury pertinent information in small print). Talk about this when you see it so your kids can learn that not all advertising is helpful.
  
  
• One day, do an advertising count. See how many ads you and your kids notice as you follow your daily routine. Keep a running total but also point out all the places where you may overlook advertising, such as hearing an announcement broadcast about a sale when you’re at a store, or an ad that accompanies a bill or statement you get in the mail.
  

For parents with children ages 10 - 15

• Talk about how advertising appeals to our emotions. Kids at this age often worry about their appearance and how others treat them, so they’re very susceptible to advertising that tries to alleviate their worries. With your kids, identify the emotions and the possible “cure-all” that the advertisement may be promoting.
  


• Encourage kids to slow down their spending. Advertising wants us to buy something right away. Have kids think about what they want to buy and why. Then have them wait a day or two (or longer if it’s a large purchase) before spending the money. Talk about how much easier it is to spend money than to earn money.
  
  
• Have your kids explore PBS’s “Don’t Buy It.” Web site, which teaches them to become more media savvy about advertising.
  

For parents with children ages 16 - 18

• Tell your teenager about a time when you spent money because of an advertisement, and it turned out to be a bad investment. If you remember the emotion the advertisement was appealing to, point that out as well. We’ve all had times when we thought shopping would lift our spirits or a product would have some type of magical effect.
  
  
• Introduce your teenager to the publication Consumer Reports, which your local library should have. Start by opening up to the back and looking at the index of items. The November issue is generally a popular one with older teenagers since it usually explores the latest technological gadgets, such as cell phones, mp3 players, digital cameras, and so on. Find an item that your teenager is interested in and read the article together to find out what the scientists at Consumer Reports have to say. Or visit the Consumer Reports Web site.
  
  
• Together look for spot product placement in video games, movies, TV shows, and on the Internet. It’s not coincidence when a character wears a branded shirt or drinks a branded soft drink or uses a branded computer. Talk about what you see and how that character can influence how you feel about a product.
  
  
• The PBS show Frontline did a report on how advertising affects teenagers. Check out the results on the PBS Web site.
  

Helping Kids Discover What They Love to Do

“Sparks are the hidden flames in your kids that light their proverbial fire, get them excited, tap into their true passions.”—Peter Benson, author of Sparks: How Parents Can Help Ignite the Hidden Strengths of Teenagers

If you were to name the one or two things that really get your child excited, that get your child ready to jump out of bed in the morning, what would those things be? For one child, it might be running outside to kick a soccer ball. For another, it might be making up a fantastical story. Someone else might love to tinker with a computer. Every child has at least one unique, worthy, and passionate interest or talent. Search Institute calls this passionate interest or talent an individual’s “spark.” Everyone has a spark inside—a spark that is good and important. Helping kids find and develop their talents and interests is about helping them become the best that they can be. Helping to ignite the sparks within our children will allow them reach their full potential and contribute to making the world a better place for us all.

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For all parents

• Learn more about sparks. Search Institute has done extensive research on the topic and has also created practical ideas on how to identify and nurture your child’s spark. Start at www.ignitesparks.org.
  


• Begin talking about your child’s natural interests and talents. Every family member has a spark—or a set of sparks. Discuss what yours are and how they give meaning to your life. Ask other family members about their sparks and how they’re going. Make “sparks” a common conversation starter.
  


• Be careful not to push your kids. Your job as a parent is to provide lots of opportunities and support for your kids. Assist, don’t direct, in this process.
  
  
• Get to know other individuals who are pursuing their passionate interests and talents. Sometimes, it’s helpful to find people who have a similar spark to yours. Other times, you can learn a lot from people who have a spark that’s different, and you see how everyone shares similar ups, downs, and discoveries along their spark journey.
  
  
• Support and encourage the sparks of your kids—and other people’s kids. Some people do this by becoming an assistant coach, a club leader, or just by asking kids how their sparks are going when they see them.
  

For parents with children ages birth to 5

• Notice what your young child gravitates toward. Is it building with blocks? Paging through picture books and making up stories? Dressing stuffed animals? Making your living room into a jungle gym and climbing over everything? These activities all give hints to what your child’s interests and natural abilities are.
  
  
• Create a daily routine that gives your young child structure but also allows for creativity to explore new things. For example, do an art activity, something physical, a story activity, and an outdoor activity every day. These can be simple, such as taking a walk to find bugs in the summer and stop signs in the winter. Pay attention to what gets your child excited.
  
  
• As young children grow, their interests can change. Make room for that. If they were in constant motion at age 2 and then want to do lots of art at age 3, follow their interests and don’t worry about the changes. These changes can be typical for some kids.
  

For parents with children ages 6 - 9

• Continue to expose your children to new things so they can continue to explore new potential sparks. For example, visit different types of museums in your area—a train museum, a children’s museum, an art museum, a science museum, and a history museum.
  


• Give your children options for sports and arts activities. Sign up for one or two that interest them the most. Then have them stick it out for the duration of the scheduled season or activity and see what develops.
  
  
• If kids want to quit an activity, talk about their feelings and why they feel the way they do. Affirm their feelings but also teach kids that it’s important to stick with things, even if it’s for only eight sessions.
  

For parents with children ages 10 - 15

• Don’t be surprised if your child begins to drop activities they’ve been doing for years. This is common for some young teenagers because of puberty and the rapid changes in their brains. For more information about this, see the book Magic Trees of the Mind by Marian Diamond, Ph.D.
  
  
• If your child does want to drop an activity, tell him he can do so only if he finds a replacement. This is an important boundary that also empowers kids to choose something new. Because of the changes going on in their brains, it’s tempting for many kids to drop activities yet be too self-conscious to add new ones. Reassure your kids, but be firm about having them find a replacement.
  
  
• Continue to emphasize the importance of practicing and sticking with things, even when they get hard or boring. For example, tell your child she needs to practice her instrument 30 minutes a day before she can have computer or friend time.
  
  
• Support your kids’ sparks by attending their concerts, games, and other events. Tell your kids that you’re proud of them and of the progress they’re making.
  

For parents with children ages 16 - 18

• Make it a habit to check in with your teenager about his spark on a regular basis (such as once a week or once a month, depending on what the spark is). Ask your teenager where he is with his talents and interests. Is he excited? Has he hit some obstacles? What difficulty has he just worked through? Who supports him best?
  
  
• Thank the adults who support and nurture your teenager’s spark. Send them a card or an email and tell them how much you appreciate what they do.
  
  
• Continue to nurture your talents and interests as well. Teenagers not only learn about living the spark-driven life by experience, but also by observing the adults around them. Set a good example. When your journey isn’t going well, talk about it and how you’re dealing with the difficulty.
  
  
• Celebrate when your teenager hits significant milestones with her spark. For example, your teenager may be recognized at school or in the community newspaper. Or the milestone may be more personal, such as putting in 100 hours of volunteer work at the animal shelter. All these milestones are momentous and are important to recognize.
  

Get More Spark Ideas!
Sparks: How Parents Can Help Ignite the Hidden Strengths of Teenagers by Peter Benson, president of Search Institute, includes thought-provoking research results on sparks and practical ways to discover and nurture your teenagers sparks.

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Visit MVParents.com and read more about Sparks: Bringing Out the Best in Kids, our newest Parenting Matters resource.

Creating an Ideal Homework Center

“Study from new books but from old teachers.”—Turkish proverb

Homework. Most kids complain about it, but kids who learn the skills to get their schoolwork done are much more likely to succeed in school. In Developmental Assets: A Synthesis of the Scientific Research on Adolescent Development, Search Institute research revealed that time spent on homework is associated with higher test scores, higher grades, improved scientific literacy, fewer behavior problems, and less marijuana use. You can help your child succeed by creating an ideal homework center in your home.

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For all parents

• With your child, locate a place in your home where your child can do homework each evening. This may be a desk, but it also may be the kitchen table.
  
  
• Together buy homework supplies. It’s better to have too many than not enough. (You don’t want a lack of pencils to become an excuse.) You don’t need to spend much money, but it’s helpful to have pencils, paper, a folder (or organizer to keep track of the homework), and erasers.
  


• If your child does not get a homework organizer from your school, create or buy one. Your child won’t be able to do homework if he or she doesn’t know what the assignments are. Getting organized and getting in the habit of tracking daily (and long-term) homework is a key skill to build in your child.
  


• What’s most important in your child doing homework well is not so much the amount he or she has, but how accurately homework is completed, the quality of homework your child has, and the thinking skills involved.
  
  
• Get more homework tips from the book How to Help Your Child with Homework by Jeanne Shay Schumm, Ph.D.
  
  
• Try to be present during your child’s homework times, especially when they’re younger. Sit next to them and offer to help them. Or if you have bills to pay, work you need to do from your job, or some other project, do it while your child is doing homework. Talk about how everyone has homework—even adults. Your modeling teaches your child a lot about the importance and value of homework.
  

For parents with children ages birth to 5

• Read aloud to your child every day—throughout the day. Although young children do not typically get “homework” (and developmentally, they shouldn’t), you can help keep them curious and learning by reading interesting picture books.
  
  
• Do something intellectually stimulating with your child every day. Go for a color walk where you look for specific colors, such as red, yellow, or blue. Bring in a snowball, or use an ice cube, and place it in a bowl for your child to see what happens as it melts. Visit a children’s museum.
  
  
• Remember to emphasize all parts of learning, not just memorization. Give kids time to practice cutting with child-size scissors, stringing large beads, drawing with crayons (or washable markers), jumping, running, and playing with other children. The kids who are most ready for kindergarten have been practicing all their skills: intellectual, social, emotional, and physical.
  

For parents with children ages 6 - 9

• Attend back-to-school events and open houses at the beginning of the year to learn what teachers expect for homework. Getting on the same page with the teacher right away will help you know how to support your child in getting homework done.
  
  
• When your child does not have homework, have your child do a different type of learning so that he or she gets used to learning something extra every day. This can be as simple as reading a book or researching together on the Internet to learn why birds fly south for the winter, or trying a new element of art, such as drawing a portrait of your family pet. A helpful Web site for ideas is HomeworkSpot.
  


• Whenever you help your child with homework, be sure that your child is doing the homework (and you are not). Your role is to ask questions, give examples, and assist your child in learning concepts, not give them the answers.
  

For parents with children ages 10 - 15

• At this age, kids often throw out the homework skills they’ve mastered. Unfortunately, too many try to throw out homework all together. Be firm that homework still needs to be done. If your child wants to do homework in front of the TV while listening to an MP3 player, allow it as long as your child completes homework well and does well in school. If grades start to slip, set new rules where your child needs to focus more on homework and less on other distractions.
  


• Negotiate times for your child to do his or her homework. Some want a break after school. If so, set a time limit. You may also need to set limits on other things as well to ensure that your child is getting homework done—and done well.
  
  
• Keep in touch with teachers about your child’s progress in school. Many schools now have Internet portals where you can access your child’s grades, assignments, attendance, and tardies. If so, check this weekly (if your child is doing well) or daily (if your child starts to slip).
  

For parents with children ages 16 - 18

• By this age, your teenager should have strong homework skills if you’ve been building them from an early age. However, some slip and others haven’t mastered certain skills. The biggest skill that many older teenagers often need is how to spread out long-term projects and how to study for major exams (such as the ACT, the SAT, AP and IB exams, and final exams). Pull out a calendar if your teen has trouble with this skill and have him or her break down these projects and test preparation into week-by-week (or day-by-day) chunks.
  
  
• Continue to offer your assistance for homework, but be clear about what you will and will not do. (Some parents end up pulling all nighters with their procrastinating teenager to help him or her get a project done.) One of the most helpful ways you can provide assistance is to proof papers and college essays. But work with your teenager to build in extra time for your feedback, in case you discover that the paper needs a heavy rewrite and not just a correction of a few typographical errors.
  


• Talk with high school counselors and teachers to create an academic schedule for your teenager from ninth to twelfth grade that challenges your teenager and deepens his or her skills. You want to keep your teenager growing (without boring or placing too much pressure on your teenager) so that he or she gradually masters skills to take the next step after high school.
  

Keeping Kids Safe on Bikes, Trikes, Skateboards-and in Cars

“Safety is not a gadget, but a state of mind.”—Eleanor Everet, safety expert

When the weather gets nice, kids head outside and jump on their trikes, bikes, or skateboards, or hop into the car. While it’s great for kids to be mobile and get some exercise, it can be stressful for parents who worry about their kids’ safety. Consider these ideas to keep your kids safe while allowing them to have some fun.

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For all parents

• Talk concretely about safety with your child. Instead of saying, “Be safe,” give explicit instructions on what your child should do. For example, if you have sidewalks, have your child ride only on the sidewalks in front of your home and not cross any streets. Be aware that some communities now say that sidewalks are for pedestrians only, so if that’s the case, you’ll need to find an alternative other than the street for young children to ride their trikes and bikes.
  
  
• Don’t rely on cell phones as a safety measure. Yes, a cell phone might help, but it’s not a safety sure-all since the batteries could go dead, your child could drop it, or your child could get injured enough and not be able to use it.
  
  
• Always insist that your child wear a helmet when riding a trike, bike, or skateboard. Make sure bike helmets have the CPSC sticker and that the skateboard helmets have the ASTM F 1492 sticker.
  
  
• Visit your community’s park and recreation department and inquire about bike paths, skateboard parks, and other recreational areas where you and your child can bike together.
  
  
• Insist that everyone always wear seat belts when riding in a car and that children are in the correct child or booster seat required for their age and weight.
  
  
• Remember that how you drive is a powerful lesson to your kids. Make sure you make full stops at stop signs. Don’t race through yellow lights. Signal before turning or changing lanes. Be aware of any inclination you may have toward road rage and do all you can to avoid it. All these are habits you want your kids to emulate once they begin driving, so do them yourself and talk about what you’re doing.
  

For parents with children ages birth to 5

• When your child is riding a trike or bike outside, always keep a close eye on your child. Your child is too young to be able to make all safety decisions.
  
  
• Have races with your young child. As your child rides a trike, race your child while jogging alongside him or her. Let your child win most of the time. It will be great exercise for both of you.
  


• Once your child is coordinated enough, move him or her to a small bicycle with training wheels. As your child gradually gets a sense of balance with the training wheels, readjust the wheels so that your child has to work a bit harder at balancing.
  

For parents with children ages 6 - 9

• Even after your child learns to ride a bicycle without training wheels, there are still a lot of bicycle skills she or he will need to master. For example, riding down hills is dangerous for most children since they often don’t know how to stop a bike and keep their balance while going at high speeds.
  
  
• Make bike riding more fun by having your child decorate his or her bike with crepe paper in the spokes—or by using clothespins to attach individual playing cards to the spokes for sound effects.
  
  
• When riding on bike trails together, make sure your child stays to the right to avoid head-on collisions with cyclists coming from the opposite direction.
  

For parents with children ages 10 - 15

• As children enter puberty, they often resist wearing helmets. Some even will wear their helmets while a parent is looking and then hide it in the bushes once they’re a block away. As best you can, make sure your child is always wearing a helmet.
  
  
• Some preteens find bike helmets “uncool” and refuse to wear them. Help them find a more stylish skateboard helmet that also has the CPSC bike sticker. Many prefer skateboard helmets when riding bikes at this age.
  


• If your child has a cell phone, be clear that riding a bike (or a skateboard) while talking on a cell phone (or attempting to text message) is dangerous and should not be done.
  


• Be clear about what kids need to look for in crossing roads and railroad tracks. Many kids get into fender benders with cars when drivers turn a corner and don’t see the kids on the bike. Tell your kids to make eye contact with drivers to ensure that the drivers see them.
  


• Some states allow 15-year-olds to get learner’s driving permits. You have the right to decide whether your teen is ready for this at this age—or not. When you do decide your child is ready to begin learning driving skills, teach him or her carefully yourself and enroll your child in a comprehensive driving course.
  

For parents with children ages 16 - 18

• Make sure teenagers always wear seatbelts when riding in or driving a car. Watch for teens who secure the seatbelt and sit on it instead of wearing it.
  


• Be clear on what you expect when your teenager drives (or rides in a car with a teenage driver). The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry has helpful tips at http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/helping_your_teen_become_a_safe_driver.
  
  
• Be clear that getting a driver’s license is a privilege, not a right. As a parent, you have the final say whether your teen is ready to get a license—or not. According to the Federal Highway Administration, only 30 percent of 16-year-olds get a driver’s license. That compares to 44 percent who got them 10 years earlier in 1998. If you feel your teenager is not ready, it’s okay for you to decide that he or she will wait to get a license until he or she is older.
  


• Carefully weigh the pros and cons of having your teen get a driver’s license versus riding with other teen drivers. (Your teenager will start riding with licensed drivers as soon as the opportunity arises.) Monitor who your teenager is riding with and what kind of driver that teenager is.
  
  
• Don’t be surprised if your child gets a ticket or has a fender bender the first year of having a driver’s license. Many teenagers do. The longer your teenager drives without an accident or ticket, the better.